Welcome to Togustage and thank you for stopping  by. 

 This page provides insight about the blog and attempts to answer any common questions you may have. I write about topics that concern me the most which include my faith, my struggles with invisible illnesses and my new career path.

My Faith

 I love to talk about my faith because being a christian is the most important thing to me . I have decided to follow Jesus and anywhere He leads I will follow. As christians we are faced with many challenges and I think that sometimes the christian community  is the greatest obstacle to christianity. As a result of the abuse of power and authority, we tend to see God as a task master that is never satisfied with us and any little mistake we make condemns us or scars us. We fail to see God for who He really us furthermore, we  do not understand our identity in Christ. However shouldn’t something be said about existence in God’s kingdom? The achievement measures up to satisfaction and disappointment parallels sadness comparisons don’t exist. Everybody has precisely the same open door for a significant life. Why? Since wholeness and importance in life are not the results of what you have or don’t have, what you’ve done or haven’t done. You are now an entire individual and have a life of limitless importance and reason on account of who you are – an offspring of God. The main character equation that works in God’s kingdom is you in addition to Christ squares with wholeness and significance.

Expectations

I want to go back to the basis of Christianity. I just want my bible, a note book and I  sit with the bible and allow the Holy Spirit to lead me  and teach me. To open my eyes of understand so i understand the words written even if I have read it a thousand times. I have had enough of watered down message that compel one to deep their hands into their pockets and give. I really want to know jesus and understand what it is to be a servant of God. I want have a relationship with God and for him to call me friend. To say greater is He that lives in me than he that lives in the world and mean it because I know him. I believe in miracles and I believe that we have  new covenant in Christ. By accepting Jesus as my Lord and Personal saviour I have become a new woman and old thing have passed away and I have become new. I really have an honest desire to share what I learn from scriptures without hesitation. This in essence is a quest for truth with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The truth that we seek can be found in the word of God but its only by approaching his throne of grace that we can receive direction . I want every one that reads this blog to have a clear understanding of

  •  Who we are in christ who God is to us
  • Who Christ is to us
  • The role we are meant to play on earth

I think it is important that as Christians, we are not in competition with each other, rather we have all being called for unique purposes and it is only by working together that we can fulfil, the great commission.

If you are looking for a place that you will get quotes that move you to give or feel good about yourself then you have come to the wrong place. However if you are looking for a place that will seek and speak the truth always then you have come to the right place.I will love to hear about your experience, tips and even questions, or prayer request  #togustagefaith  #togustageprayerrequest to keep the conversation flowing

My Health

 September 11, 2013 was a memorable one for me because aster over 10 years of being told by doctors that the pains I was experiencing was in my head and thus unreal, was finally diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tarchycardia syndrome , Marfan Syndrome , Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Asthma, Fibromyalgia , Polycystic ovary syndrome, Chronic Migraine , Chronic Fatigue Syndrome , Insomnia and I think thats it. The other diagnosis came  after although not oiin the order that it appears above. I assumed the journey was over since I was diagnosed, but this is far from the truth its been a year and 2 months and I still do not have my symptoms managed properly for a variety of reason. I have autoimmune dysfunction and only a hand full of medical practitioners have heard of my condition. I am being managed by a team and they have attempted to take an holistic approach to managing my symptoms.

So why blog about it ?

Have you ever been faced with a situation where you are unable to give a simple answer to the question ‘whats wrong with you”?  Well I have and I hate filling in forms or visiting a new doctor. When my Gp asks so whats wrong with you today? I am temped to say what is’nt. Earlier I was faced with a tough decision, I had to make a choice between having migraines and fibromyalgia pains as I could not be prescribed medication for both at the same period. I was devastated to say the least and at the end of the day but I had no choice. Sometimes when undergoing multiple diagnosis and treatment, it is difficult to give one answer. i am always tempted to request for a piece of paper and simply write down all the medical conditions that have been diagnosed

Can I talk to someone that will not judge me? Thats the question a member of a group on invisible illness asked.  I must admit, this is a question I ask myself before responding to any questions about my health. I understood his pain, and I want to believe that everyone in the group had been there. There have been times I wanted to cry out for help but held-back out of fear of been judged. I have been ridiculed and have even had to end good relationships  because of my health. I have had people say but everyone gets tired when I try to explain chronic Fatigue or when I have the migraines, I get told why are you making such a big fuss you are not the first to have headaches. Sometimes I am tempted to ask who I do not have a visible illness so when a shell chair appears for me at the airport, I do not find myself trying to avert my eyes from the stares that I get from other passengers.

I have always wanted a safe haven that  would serve as an overt source for information with regards to the medical  treatment I am currently receiving and have received in the past. I have never enjoyed telling people I am sick because the response I always get is but you look fantastic even on days I could barely stand. I am using this platform as a means to communicate with my family, friends and loved ones what I am going through. This will answer questions that may have be too afraid to ask. It will also give anyone I will get into a relationship with an opportunity to understand what he is getting into. I may not be able to do things others do like go to a cinema, or for a game or on dates. They will understand my pain and know why I say no to certain activities. I do not expect them to understand the decisions I take but  i expect them to respect these decisions.

Unfortunately I do not have any medical experience and my post do not serve as instructions that can be used without the approval of a  qualified medical practitioner but it will serve as a source of encouragement to others going through similar situations. It will also be a source for  people that have family and friends that are critically ill, as it gives insight to what they are going and how much they need each other to go through this difficult time

Career change

I am an HR generalist and a security adviser,  two hats I wear with pride, I have 2 masters  degrees and years of experience in these fields. In addition, I have also worked in customer service as my career actually started in customer service. I got a long overdue email yesterday, I have dreaded this particular email because it was a medical assessment that was the deciding factor in determining,  if I was pursuing a career in academics or not. The conclusion I am afraid was not good news as it stated that going down the part I want to, will prove difficult for me. Its was indeed a confirmation of one of my fears but it does not mean I have given up. it went further to highlight that based on my current treatment plan ,( medication and all) I will need to work  four times as hard as my colleagues , I will need a scribe if I am taking an exam , I will also need to use voice recognition to complete task. it went on to give other details which i will explain in my welcome back post.In 2012, I realised that it was going to prove difficult working for any  organisation  because my fares were unpredictable and thus  I was unable to pull my weight in the department and  I had more off days and half days in the department . A part of me was always guilty and I kept to myself on days I made it in.   I guess it was at this  point, I started drifting towards  the idea starting my business or working from home but I had no idea what I wanted to do. The process of Turning my passion into a career, was not s easy as I had predicted. Firstly I had no idea what I wanted to do coupled with the fact that I had to keep up with the  hospital appointments.  Secondly,  I had not asked myself a simple question what does this involve?  The answer to this question was not straight forward but I was determined to keep myself busy.

I am passionate about so many things especially shopping and I first tried my hands at being a personal shopper for family, and then friends and I enjoyed doing this ( who does not love shopping) for a while but I still did not find fulfilment. I knew I wanted something more and decided to look within myself to decide what I was passionate about, that not only gave me fulfilment but also earned income. I knew Ioved bespoke stationery and gifts  and I decided to give this a shot.

Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I love anything PRETTY, my roommates and house mates will say I have a soft spot for  organisation and gift boxes, gifts and stationary and they will not be wrong. I enjoying giving people gifts and seeing their faces light up when they receive them. So in the past year, I have thought and taking little steps to begin my business. I have observed of late that I am fast  becoming a perfectionist and kind of OCD-ish especially when it comes to my business and studies. I will be sharing with you  my attempts at annexing my creative side, through photography and craft classes (1-on-1)  to producing bespoke gifts, stationary and organisation materials  I will also be sharing resources I discover in my quest to build a bespoke  stationary, organisation and gift store. I am finding fulfilment daily and I have been exposed to an array of information on the wonderful world of bespoke stationery. I had no idea a stationery  academy existed and I am thrilled to learn more and look forward to designing, creating and selling my first products. In addition I also am taking photography courses because I want to take the pictures of the products I design to cut the cost. I am struggling with camera setting, the aperture and am currently shot on manual. I am currently subscribed to creative live a site that has a library of videos on photography . I am discovering my strengths and weaknesses and gradually turning into a business woman but I still have a long way to go.


'Did I mention, that this blog will be anonymous?'

Did I mention that this blog will be anonymous ? I apologise for not doing so earlier but after deliberating for years I have decided to hide my identity because I made a decision to blog and my family did not . I have become a very private person and try as much as possible to keep my circle and friends as small as possible for so many reasons.  I come from a somewhat large family and grew up in Lagos but I am originally from the southern part of Nigeria in West Africa. My parents relocated to Lagos from Port-Harcorth  in 1981 before I was born and I think growing up in the city of Lagos has shaped me into a woman that embraces diversity and change . Most African families open the doors of their homes on most parts of their lives but one door that remains closed  is that of health or medical challenges. That is why most of my family and friends do not know a great deal of my medical challenges. So as a sign of respect for tradition and my family, I decided to write about it but not reveal my true identity. This clandestine tendencies I  am embracing, I believe owe its origin to my keen in the security sector and  my love for superheroes especially BatMan and SuperMan. I have always been fascinated by the idea  a double life, so please allow me to introduce you to Bibi Bonnie and you guessed right I have a Big ‘B’ on my Chest and I wear a mask but ditched the cape for something cute and comfy. I am no rescue ranger but will try my best to give updates on the changes I have had to make and will have to.The only detail I will not reveal is my name . So think of me as your  female undercover agent like; Ziva (NCIS), Annie (Covert Affairs) Elizabeth King (the blacklist ) , I sometimes see  myself as a Female Gibbs  (NCIS)with a big heart

  Can you keep a secret? : For those of you that know my secret identity and are reading this, I say thank you for your love and support you have shown me, but I will appreciate it you keep this to yourself. Under no circumstances will you reveal my identity, I kept it secret for a reason and revealed this side of my life to you out of trust.I know you may not understand why but I will appreciate if you respect my decision and be discreet.

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So why blog you may ask , my answer is simple why not. I have over the past 5 years received encouragement from so many blogs and heard so many stories that nearly moved me to tears so I think its time for me to tell my story in my own way.

I really hope this blog inspires you and motivates any one with chronic illnesses to look beyond the pain and find a way of escape from all the difficult challenges invisible illnesses bring and do something with your life. I am discovering mine and want to take you along for the ride. For those with loved once suffering from any chronic illness, I want to say thank you for looking out for us thank you for the care and love, thank you for staying there and showing up , even when we shut you out. I hope it serves as a source of encouragement and if it does I will love to hear from you please get in touch here.

Thank you for stopping by .

BiBi Bonnie

More about me

 

  • Meaning of Togustage:

    The word Togu  gets it origin from the Southern part of Nigeria and it simply means ‘Child’. I have always been fascinated with the way a child views the world and this is one of the reasons I called my blog Togustage.  I used the word stage because it sounded more musical  than world. The simplicity , innocence and genuine nature of seeing the world through the eyes of a child has given me a different perspective of life.

  • Location : I am from Bayelsa State  ( Nigeria) , grew up in Lagos (Nigeria) , living in London ( United Kingdom)
  • Was I diagnosed my doctors ? Yes Pots  and Joint Hyper-mobility Syndrome  at St Johns and Elizabeth in 2013 , IBS at ST Thomas Hospital in 2010 Hyper-mobility Guys Hospital 2011…
  • Age : 29
  • Gender : Female
  • Favourite colours : Black, white , Gold ( if you said pink you, maybe in 2010)
  • Favourite Movie : Phantom, of the opera
  • Favourite Book : Victory over the darkness Neil Anderson
  • Favourite  Male Artist: Aaron Shust , John Waller and Phil
  • Favourite Female Artist : Kari Jobe
  • Favourite Band : Tenth Avenue North
  • Favourite Song : Worn Tenth Avenue North 
  • Favourite Gluten Free restaurant : Buspa Eatthai
  • Favourite Gluten Free Bakery Products : UDIS Bagel